Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 11:26 PM

WARNING!
THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS WRITTEN BY EXPERT, AND REWRITING OR REPERFORMING THE SENTENCE COULD BE DANGEROUS. PEOPLE WITH WEAK HEART AND PREGANT WOMEN ARE ADVISED NOT TO VIEW THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENT. THIS DOCUMENT IS COPYRIGHTED. PEOPLE CAUGHT REPRODUCING IT CAN BE SUED OR CHARGED.

MY WEE IS SO SO SO SO NICE! :) I LOVE! <333


had school today. was ok. get to sit with my clique again. damn happy. it's been long since the whole group of us are together. was having social studies. 3 hours. it was great. i like the feel. as i sat at the table, i looked around at the other 7 girls. never change abit. i studied them. and cant help grinning to myself. tracy baby at the right. and little bro rah at the left. sweet.
i think i sound mad. like insane? cant help it la! this is what happen when your clique hasnt been together for a long long long long long long time. i remembered that we'll always sit together during recess, when we're in lower sec. but i kinda ps them, and when to sit with drey. and now, with the seperation. it's a sad thing. through i dont really show it. my heart shatters. pam's with the church people every recess now. and sometimes yun, ass and maj would stay in class having their own pinic. tracy disappears once in a while from school. rah stays in class for reasons. mui is always there. and me? i disappears regularly.
when i think about it today, during social studies, it's a sad thing. how friendship comes and goes. just like that. without a snap, like the wind, it blows.
whispering to rah, i feel great! it's been long. and those days, when i was constantly begged by maj for piggy-back rides, acting monkey with tracy, pouncing on yun, calling est an ASS, kicking the back of mui's chair and crapping with pam.

AINT THOSE SWEET MEMORIES?
MEMORIES THAT I LONG TO HAVE.
AND WHEN I THINK OF IT,
MAYBE,
NORTHBROOKS AINT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT.

i remembered that day, when i pounced on yun, we bended the table's leg.
i remembered that day, when maj was running towards me and i shifted my table. and it hit her THERE. and a tear rolled down her cheek.
i remembered that day, when mui didnt responded to her name. till i call her mui. weirdo.
i remembered that day, during sec1 camp, pam kept pucking my pe tee, sending chills down my spine.
i remembered that day, when rah and me chatting on the phone all night.
i remembered that day, when i couldnt remember ass's name. and i wrote it on my palm.
i remembered that day, when i quarrelled with tracy. i was being so childish. and im sorry.

time seems to fly,
it seems like just yesterday,
when we're just only sec ones,
when we're from different schools,
of different culture.

time flies,
we're all sec fours now,
aint it quick?

somehow,
i wish i could turn back time,
and i will treat you girls well,
you girls mean too much.

you can call me silly,
but what does it have to take?
simple things can mean alot to me.
and you girls,
really do.


i miss you babes. and i really mean it. and i hope you girls, feel the same way too.
*maj looks cute in sngs uniform when i first met her.

My name is Serene.

 - 12:01 AM

i miss you.
i still do.
and i know.
i shouldnt be doing so.
i dont want to drag you on.
and it seems like you're doing pretty well.

if only.
if only we're only closer.
things wouldnt turn out this way.
would it?

slip the razor over my arm.
you still flood fresh in my blood.
why.
im too trying hard to let go.

sorry.
im sorry.

things aint getting better.
is it ?

My name is Serene.

Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 1:29 AM

ALL HAIL RACHY MEI MEI !
my weeeweee cum little lesbian imp cum cheena pigeon cum coconut cum sarcastic partner cum "anti-flasher" mate cum ballball mate cum horny "woman"/little girl cum in out partner cum left right partner cum repharse partner cum fine salt sugar partner cum x) partner cum make-the-name-longer partner! love!


rounded up;
it's late. still aint here. frowns. oh wells. sorta makes me think again.
i really dont know what to do. and at the point that i thought i was alright, that im ok, that everything's fine, and things are settled, they aint. as i sat here. all alone, i really dont know who to depend on. who's here? there i am, tored apart, once again.
i realized one thing. im always giving advises to people. but yet, i cant even help myself. what's the point? in the end, im the loser, the one who suffered the most. days i wore that mask of mine. when can i even take it off? that pathetic me. filled with tears and anger. that fear. that very fear i thought i could get rid of. that very pain i tried to erase from others. why cant i do that for myself? why cant i mend my own broken soul. my emotions are drifting apart. i have no one to blame. no one at all. but myself.
why cant i stand up. why cant i? and i thought i was strong? now it seems, that everything i said, was nothing but bullshit. bullshit. nothing but shit.
nightmares hit me again and again. waking up in the middle of the night. i sat up and tears began to flow. muffled the pain. silent whispers drove me back to sleep. but, i have no courage anymore.
the feelings i have. are back to get me. and i thought, they're gone. for sure. why am i like that. being so... so not me? i was too rashy. now that i think about it, i have let everyone down. i have let myself down. me. scars aint enough to show anything at all. they're nothing. but just more pain i caused to myself.
all i wanted was to make everyone around me happy. i expected nothing. nothing at all. i hate to smile. i hate it even more when i have to force a damn smirk across my face. but no, i have to. i dont wanna be like before. i dont wanna make the people around me suffer. suffer cause of me. i dont want that to happen. i have no such intentions. but now... it seems like... im hurting more and more people, instead of making them happy. what have i done? and who will even understand how horrible i feel?
i aint a flirt. it's just that im searching for that very love i once had. that sweet moments... that person who i gave up so much for. i want someone to take my pain away. to take her away from me. who? i need that someone... to make me feel special. and not pathetic. that someone, to make me forget her. to let me feel loved. and for that... i will truely love her back, for sure. with all my heart. i may seems like a flirt. call me that. i dont care. you dont understand.
and each time, i thought im in love. it aint the same. it seems like i still cant move on? how pathetic is that?!
why aint you here for me?
isit another mocking session, god?!
are you playing games with me?!
make me cry. rip me apart.
you did it god.
i surrender.

My name is Serene.

Saturday, May 28, 2005 - 8:17 AM

My name is Serene.

Friday, May 27, 2005 - 11:30 AM

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

My name is Serene.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 10:50 PM

My name is Serene.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 10:00 PM

VERY HAPPY DAY. VERY VERY VERY HAPPY INDEED.
went to causeway today. library. suppose to be studying with my panda. but geesh. ended up slacking. panda's DAMN DAMN DAMN CUTE. omg. i miss my panda! it's like having a countdown since ytd. and finally i get to see my baby panda!! damnit happy can! she's so so so cute! like omg?!

___________________________

baby, there you are.
you sat next to me.
and i couldnt help it, but to move closer.
i have no idea why that feeling creeps over me.
somehow, it's the same feeling, that feeling, i havent feel for so long.
you.
you brought it all back to me.
my life.
the wonders and colours.

you pull me through the darkest storms,
and you painted a rainbow in my heart.
you, you and you.
i adore you.

you're,
a brand new rainbow,
over an old and fading one.
a brand new life, you created for me,
has taken over my past.
the long forgetten past.
the pain and tears,
that once stained my heart,
the blood that used to flow out of my palm,
the torturing punches and bruises that grew on me,
they are long gone.

you took them all away.
gone.

many nights i prayed.
i sang under the moon,
and raised my head up and tears came streaming down my cheeks.
such a lonely world.
long after that she's gone.
she took everything i have.
and left nothing behind.
my friends,
my knowledge,
my time.

nights i cried.
nights i sat by my bedside.
nights i waited by the phone.
nights i punched myself.
nights that blood drool from my mouth.
nights that turned the moon crimson red.
nights i waited for her.
and the nights that i cursed and sweared.
god is making a fool of me.

god made me suffer,
all the teasing,
all the crying,
all the failing.
yesh.
he gave me a princess.
but she went away.
too soon.

long have i begged.
god, please grant me someone.
someone who loved me.
cared for me.
please, spare me.
i have enough.
and then,
you came along.

you.
if you are even the one.
that person who god granted me.
i will treasure you.
i will be true.

take all my hunger away,
my pain,
the torture.
i praise lord.
for granting such a wonderful person to me.
that person,
is you.

and if you're ever reading this,
i just wanna let you know,
i trust you.
i love you.
and that is all you need to know.
cause baby...
im here for you.

My name is Serene.

Monday, May 23, 2005 - 9:41 AM

i woke up at 8am today again! so are you jealous PANDA? i love panda mate! I LOVE, I LOVE, I LOVE!!! im gonna lock you up soon! and never gonna free you. IN A CAGE. IN A ZOO. and there, you will stay, FOREVER. muhahahhaa. animal abuse. (: but what to do? i love my panda. and im gonna keep it. and no one is gonna take it away. TSK. poor panda. SAYANG SAYANG! dont cry for mama.
fiona is really asking for it. gee. haven't seen my SENIOR for so long. and there she is, writing threatening testi for me in friendster. slap her. ha. and make her little bro, ben come after me? NAH. he's my bio lab partner. i dont wanna fail my bio ): OH PLEASE! like i will fail without him! i mean im always the one doing the prac and he's the one sitting there copying my answers!! ha. and he always gets to do the fun part! like the STUPID PEANUT EXPERIMENT, i get to set-up the whole thing, and in the end? he gets to burn the PEANUTS! how can?! ha. okies. NVM. IM NICE, I FORGIVE PEOPLE. im shocked. i actually featured him on my blog? UH-HUH. hope amy wouldnt kill me for that. coughs*
COO COO. i love my cheena PIGEON. HAHA. rubbish.
gonna go watch star wars later. it's so dumb. i wanna watch kingdom of heaven! but what the hell can. nc-16. im only 15! dumb ass. no fair. IDIOTS.

______________________________

baby, im so missing you now,
your gentle smile,
your that so beautiful face,
i really cant get enough.
i really dont know what have gotten inside of me.
is it you? or am i just dreaming?
im bewitched by you.

what should i do? to make myself stop thinking of you?
it's driving me insane, up the wall.
the more i try to escape from you, the more i think of you.
but baby, i know, it's all worth it.
FOR YOU, FOR ME, AND FOR US.

everytime when i see you, you calm my soul.
you make me so so so speechless, i just cant help it,
but smile wildly.
do you know how much you really mean to me?
it's like bringing an already dead soul, alive again.
add colours in her life, make her smile and shine.
it's like being so complete, and so wanted, so loved.
baby, i just dont wanna let go.
it's more than just being complete, it is that something more,
that something extra.
special.
which seems to have a huge impact in my life.
that something, is YOU.
YOU, YOU AND YOU.

and baby, dont you even pretend,
cause you know it,
you want it,
you need it.
and i crave for it.

never am i gonna be bored of all of your sweet "I LOVE YOU"s.
never.
never will i be sick of it.
cause baby, each word you said really changes my life.
you might not know, i might not show it.
but in our hearts, i believe,
WE DO LOVE EACH OTHER.
WE DO CARE.
YOU DO.
I DO.
WE DO.

like i have said many times before.
it aint about me.
it aint about you.
it's about US.
it's about LOVE.
I LOVE YOU.

My name is Serene.

Sunday, May 22, 2005 - 10:36 AM

woo hoo. bro jus came home from work. and starts complaining. it seems to me that guys do complain as much as girls do. lala. do i care? no.
ah! im so addicted to mr brightside. thanks to that eeleen. ha. but thanks. you're so nice. send me all the songs. ha. geesh. oh yea. about you going over seas.. it's kinda sad. but i thought about it. sometimes, it's best you go. i mean, what your aunt said was true. and i believe that, given the chance, you should go. it's the best. aint it? dont be sad. i mean, it's your dream after all. right?
that cheena pok coconut is counting the number of bungs in kc now. super horny freak. still dare say me. slap you. ha. prevert. ya ya. i love you okie. and please please please. cheer up! (: im always here for you okie! me! serene! your stupid bimbotic frigging dumb pathetic DODOBIRD cum bananana cum sacastic partner is here for you! (: always! hahaa! yes yes! uh huh! my weeeweee cum little lesbian imp cum cheena pigeon cum coconut cum sarcastic partner cum "anti-flasher" mate cum ballball mate cum horny "woman"/little girl.

super friggging tired. chatted with PANDApartner till 3am last night. or was is 3.30am ? cant remember. was bloody shocked when i woke up early in the morning at 8am. stared at the clock and i refused to believe it. so i turned over and on my handphone. 8am. still couldnt believe it. stood up and walked to my bedroom clock. 8am. shocked. dashed to the living-room, looked at the clock. 8am. checked the caller-ID, 8am. went back to my room and look out of the window. looks like it's still 11am. whatever. what am i saying?! seems to be lost in time this few days. oh PANDA, PANDA, PANDA! see what you've done to me!! im gonna lock you in a cage. and never gonna let you go. yesh. right in a zoo. ha! PANDA! I LOVE.
rah is talking to me now. ha. cute huh! (: my little brudder. i miss SERENE JUNIOR. she is so so so gonna be mine. and yesh. she's fast. she learnt to walk faster than you do. ha. lousy sis. GEESH.
slap me! (:

__________________________

im so gonna lock you in a cage
cause baby, you know that i will never wanna let you go.
there's no where you can run
there's no place you can hide.
i will always find ways,
to find you
and to catch you.
no matter how hard it gets,
baby im here.
i will fight all the storms and tears
just to be beside you.
and honey, you know it too.

you engrave my heart.
you shall never tore it apart.
mend it together
and colour it with love.
embrace me till the break of dawn.
hug me tight,
promise never to let go.
you know it.
and i know it too.
we're gonna make it.
somehow, wouldn't we?

let time,
decide.
decide it well
as for now,
i lay my love in you.
i invested my heart.
my happiness is within your hands.
baby,
take me away.

My name is Serene.

Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 4:40 PM

CHEENA DAY !

stupid damn bimbotic cheena pigeon cum coconut called me a cheena dodobird. slap you arh.
haha. dont be rude okie. you pigeon!

PANDA PARTNER! dont you even think you can run away okie! im gonna find ways to enter your blog! meanie. im gonna read it. you bet i will. haha. im so so so interested can! muhahaha. and who says i cant use the word "poot" ? it aint your word. and it aint yours. cause it doesnt have your name on it. (: muahahahahhaa. i love you la can.

EELEEN! i wanna make such you scream on that day when you have to extract your tooth. scream baby! scream! muhahahha. im evil. yesh. and it aint my fault. so blae yourself. (:

im happy! yesh i am. RIGHT. (:

My name is Serene.

Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 11:04 PM

yawns.
went to bishan today with ng and yl. met weewee and mich. ha. damn funny larhs. i still cant diff mich from phy. or rather phy from mich. why must they make life so hard for me by cutting their hair, THE SAME? but it's damn cool la. felt so bad, to make mich ACCOMPANY weewee till i come. it's like my fault can. actually, it wasnt. it was weewee who MADE her stay. so yarh. it wasnt me. im innocent.
took neos. it was havoc. chaos. ha. the neos are pathetic. we didnt know what to draw for the designs. lol. cracked our ass off. nice. im piss la. let's take new ones. NICER ones, please. yesh.

hellos. i bet weewee's looking at my blog. ya. reading my post. can you SEE it now? ng called you weewee!!! no fair! only I have the right to call you that can! WEEWEE. me. WEEWEE. get it? only ME. ME. ME. and ME. that's it. so here am i, writing all this crap to ENTERTAIN you. and no, im not a monkey. so people out there, stop calling me a monkey. or a PANDA. hints hints. winks winks.
yayayayayayaya. poor weewee's down with food poisoning. and i didnt even know. wow. i didnt know you're so good in acting. TAHAN the pain. wha. YOU'RE MY HERO. clap hands. so wei da. (: ha. i was tahan-ing the pain too. pretending to walk normally. actually i wanted to limp my way all around j8. but im nice. as usual. so i dont wannna make you paisae. so ya. nice huh!
and yesh.
im not okie. not okie! (:
______________________________

i don't know what to say.
but it seems that i still miss you so much.
i don't get it.
why i ever did this to you.
im sorry.
i miss you.
i really do.
i tried to forget you.
but it seems..
that it just make me feel worst.

i tried.
i thought that we live so far apart.
it would be hard to know each other.
i cant see you. you cant see me.
time brings people closer.
we have no time.
i have no time.
i cant go over.
i cant spend time with you.
i don't have the time to know you.
to understand you.
i feel unloved.
cause...
i just cant get close to you.
it wasnt your fault.
it was more like mine.

no matter what.
people can blame me.
people can hate me.
but i don't care.
im sure.
i don't want to pretend.
and act as if you don't exist at all.
but at the same time,
i readlly don't know what to do.
im sorry.

i miss you.
it's you i miss now.
it's you i cry for now.
it's you i lead on now.
it's you i want now.

but god made it so hard.
i would have pull thru with you.
call me dumb.
dumb.
it's different.
i have no couarge to pick up the challenge.
im useless.

im sorry.

My name is Serene.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 11:16 PM

muhahahas!

im bored again. yawns. it's late. and im online. geesh. mummy's nagging. asking me to go sleep. bet im gonna die tml. dumb friendster. cant accept friend requests. lala. oh. whatever.

im glad i actually pass chinese. without even studying larhs. i didnt even study any of the subjects can. okie. so this is my confession. im sorry.

went to the library today. ng and yl went with me. in the end they left. didnt studied. cant concentrate. kept smirking. giggling. and laughing to myself. so whatever la. such a retarded freak. ya ya ya. hmmmms. im mad! stop me! (: muhahahhahas. slap me. someone! quick!
watched GET REAL. damn funny la. hahaha. poor bungs got caught in action. phews. im lucky. haha. whatever. everyone was looking at me la. stupid. the show was like gonna give me away. "wax hair, short hair, boy clothes." and everyone was looking at me from head to toe. my waxed hair, my short hair, and my big clothes. im like "stupid show". but cant help it. must watch. then they're like "writing love letters, chatting on the phone, smsing." and there they go again, starting at me. when i was smsing, writing my letter. lucky i wasnt using the phone to chat or smt. LOL. it's like SABO-ing me or something. smack the tv. ha.

blah blah blah. box the tv. tear the wires. kick the screeen, i tell you. smack smack smack. aiyas. but i cant do that la. later no more MTV. ha. then i will die. and i mean really die. HAHA. ahh. cramps back. geesh. slap me. ha.

i wannnna fly! woo!

My name is Serene.

Monday, May 16, 2005 - 8:35 PM

im dead. dead. dead.

what the hell is going on? i really dont wanna be tortured anymore. and it seems like the whole world is falling apart. it feels like shit. and more shit.
i have no idea. no idea why i feel this way. i tot it would be easier. but no. im hurt. and so are you. why did i even hurt you. why am i in this shit? i am all to blame. not you. me. i betrayed you. i let you down. i broke a pormise. i hurt you. baby girl. im sorry. was in a dilema. it's all my fault. MINE.
no one to blame. but me. me me me.

so will you people just understand?

My name is Serene.

 - 3:47 PM

hellos (:

YES. RACH, YOU'RE FEATURED ON MY BLOG. BE HONOURED.

hmmms. am in the library now. so bored. ha. just ended the good manner class thing. ha. super hungry can. this is stupid. i have a much better com at house but i rather to be staying back in school to use the dumb com. slow somemore. lousy piece of crap thing. but oh wells. ha. (:

okies. im starting to enjoy the air-con larh. su just came in. damn noisy. what's with the "lala". okie. she's out. like what the hell? ha. damn cute la. say hi to everyone and there just LA off like that. hmmms. interesting. now shikin is making weird sound and movements. i just turned and stared at her. she flew off too. (: peace! woo. tsk tsk.

ah. on the 20th there will be a inter-house captain's ball match for girls. argh. and teacher gave me the form to fill the members up, like so soso long ago. and only today i remembered that i havent pass the form up. i cant even remember where i put it can. dead la. why me. geesh. i cant even remember who are my teammates. xw, pat, su, siti, wl... dead. i only remember that i wanted rick, puay and joy in. they're good. (: HACK IT CAN.

oh yeah. pat gave me the look when i told her i didnt bring our primary school's letters. ha. aiyas. i know she misses me la. dont deny it. shall bring the letters tml. im nice. shall let you read them again. i cant believe time fly just like that. within a blink of an eye, im sec four now. and it feels like as if it was only primary6 when i met her. damn girl. i love you! i cant believe we're actually that childish.what's with the double-sided me letter? anyways, it was my idea. ha. whatever. how creative.

okies! got to fly. the guys are having an other soccer match. they acted as if Olvl was over. and what the heck. who's playing "mr lonely". damn noisy la. ha.

i wannna fly!

My name is Serene.

Sunday, May 15, 2005 - 10:35 AM

ass hole! *grins*

went to yew tee with yan ytd. ate duck rice at the yew tee "shopping mall".
very shopping mall in deed. -shakes head-
brought big glup. acted hero and mix all the 6 types of drinks together. got a stomachache.
stomack bloated.
walked all the way to cck. visited lot1, hunted for crooks. alot of them.
went to the MEGA playground. we're so jealous.
my DEAR, DEAR, CUTE, INNOCENT, ADORABLE, CUBBLE, LITTLE SACASTIC PARTNER, WEE WEE smsed me and asked if im gonna town. weird la. but nice la. CAMPBELL SOUP! SEAFOOD SOMEMORE. HAHAHAHAHA! pooor thing. AWWWWWWWWWWW.
played swing. swing like mad. instead of going forward and backward, we went left and right. maddness. yesh yesh yesh. I LOVE MY SACASTIC PARTNER.

went under the block,
a paper aeroplane flew,
caught it.
open it up.
it was a letter.
read it.
a smile sew onto my face.
smile.
a everlasting smile.
looked up.
the pink curtain opens.
aww.
it was sweet.

im confuse. but... it worth it.

_____________________________

Uh huh, this is my SHIT
All the girls stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna to happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Ooooh ooh, this my SHIT, this my SHIT

I heard that you were talking shit
And you didn't think that I would hear it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I'm ready to attack, gonna take you out
That's right, put your pom-poms downs, getting everybody fired up

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna to happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Ooooh ooh, this my SHIT, this mySHIT

So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals,no student-teachers
All the boys want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna to happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Ooooh ooh, this my SHIT, this my SHIT

Let me hear you say this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
(This SHIT is bananas)
(B-A-N-A-N-A-S)

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna to happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Ooooh ooh, this my SHIT, this my SHIT

My name is Serene.

Friday, May 13, 2005 - 10:42 PM

My name is Serene.

 - 8:24 AM

HEYYS!!!
it's been a long long time since i came online.
arghs. was having exam. so yah.
THANKS TO THE PEOPLE WHO TAGGED ME.
LAUGHS.
pammy and rah are acting cute on my tagboard. geesh.

dont have to go to school ytd.
didnt have any exams.
ahh.
but have to go back later.
for my LAST paper!
BIOLOGY!
so so so dead.
haven touch it.
LOL.
DEAD.
but oh wells.
i DIDNT touch any of the subjects.
so it doesnt make a diff. hmmm hmmm.

aye! at least i know the sexual reproduction part la!!!
and the gene part...
tuitior MARC enlighten me.
awwwws. he's damn hot.
but it's kinda weird for a guy to be teaching you that certain chapter. uh uh.
IM SHY. and im not acting!!
he's so damn funny!
ok. whatever.
better stop it before some people read it and start teasing me.
lalala~

I MISS EELEEN!!!
geesh!
met her at town that day.
her friends are like.. so freaky.
im scared.
saw cris too.
she's with her friends too.
they kept hiding.
like what the?
oh wells.
hahaa.
i have no idea who shouted my name.
geesh.

eeleen eeleen!! she's gonna put braces! i cant wait to see ! winks!

My name is Serene.

Sunday, May 08, 2005 - 11:48 AM

MUMMMIE'S DAY!
i love you mummmie! she's the greatest woman alive! she just saw the three "i love you" thingie. and she gave me a kiss on my forehead! i was damn shy! gonna go sakae later! x)) i cant image what she will do, when she sees the orb!! kiss me more! hahas.

EELEEN : i love you. really. i do. im thinking of you. now. every hour, every minute, every second of my life.

My name is Serene.

 - 11:48 AM

MUMMMIE'S DAY!
i love you mummmie! she's the greatest woman alive! she just saw the three "i love you" thingie. and she gave me a kiss on my forehead! i was damn shy! gonna go sakae later! x)) i cant image what she will do, when she sees the orb!! kiss me more! hahas.

EELEEN : i love you. really. i do. im thinking of you. now. every hour, every minute, every second of my life.

My name is Serene.

Saturday, May 07, 2005 - 9:02 PM

tomorrow's mothers' day! cant wait! brother and i brought 3 "i love you" figures. damn cute! he brought a rose quartz. cool. yeps. im surpised he actually brought something. wow? anyways, i brought a orb, those with water and a figure inside, from precious thoughts. wrapped it up in pig princess wrapper. ha! bet mummy's gonna love it. we're so so so gonna shock her. im gonna make her kiss me. LOL.

cheer up baby. im here for you. dont be upset. you have me. i dont wanna see you this way. it hurts. if you even need me. give me a beep. i promise, i will be there.
she went offline. i stared at the phone. and no. i didnt call her. nor did i sms her. i want her to think about it. i fear she might tear. but no, she have to overcome it. somehow, you will.

im hyper today! happy! high!

you're my antidote.
i love you.

My name is Serene.

Friday, May 06, 2005 - 9:18 PM

hello fellow earthings.
haha. went to causeway today with yc and ng. brought a nerdy specs. total crap larhs. but oh wells. took some neos with it. haha. shit.
am at a lan shop now. saw hw just now. she's damn funny. rushing into the clinic like that. she got cement on her feet i guess? i didnt know thats wet cement around yishun. that's cool. she's so black today! black sweater and pants, black everything. just like my nerdy specs. it's black too.
i love tagging at lulu's blog. it's simply too cute to resist the temptations of not tagging there. ha! that anon whoever is simply so pathetic. i just love that anon thing. so i kinda have a new hobby now, tagging lulu's board. maybe i should give IT my blog webby too. so i can have someone to like give me free tags EVERYDAY. cool.
anyways, if IT happened to drop by here to tag me. i just wanna say a big HELLO. as i promised, i will welcome you with open arms. so, do you wanna smell my armpits?
you frigging thing. damn cute! hahaa!
oh. maybe i should like introduce myself?
HELLO IT! my name is serene. yeah. S-E-R-E-N-E. spell it. remember it. and im a girl, just in case you dont know that. and i think brother lulu is cute. and so are butches. so yea. do i have to say more? i dont think you will find my blog anyways, you're stupid. STUPID. dont you know what is a link? oh yea. i forgot. you're stpid. HAHA.

i miss eeleen! x) and yea. baby. dont be sad. im sorry i cant pei you today. so yeah. i dont mean it. but i really cant go all the way there. it' damn it far. sorry. hai. hope you're not angry. and please, dont cry. i love you, darling.

SIGHS.

My name is Serene.

Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 10:46 PM

im nice. im nice. im nice.
today's the first day of exam! had english and chinese paper one. it was okie. but im kinda disappointed with my english compo. i wrote crap. and the topic was "anger". all craps. wrote a story sorta compo. about a girl climbing a stone wall and then suddenly i started talking about her being a princess and then she's on a quest?! omg. im so dead. and i dont know why i wrote there, "she was an elf". ha! what the hella.
i was searching for something that is like special? and yeah. my compo was so damn it special. i bet i cant find anyone in the whole entire hall that has the same stupid storyline as mine. wanna bet? winks. ek sat next to me. ha. poor boy. he kept coughing. interrupting my thoughts. ha! bl sat infront of me. and we're like damn piss off? i rolled my eyes everytime he cough. cause he didnt cover his mouth! dirty dirty! tsk tsk. but oh wells. it isnt his fault. so ya. get well soon! ((:
chinese compo was much easier than i thought it would be. and im damn heng larhs. i knew how to write my words. and manage to find the words with a flip of the dictionary. heng heng!
am gonna have social studies and english paper two tml. and i left my social studies book in class? im dead. but oh wells. do you think i care? duh. i do. haha! ok. whatever. im a slacker. thank you.
ah! i cant wait to go brudder lulu's blog! ha! so tata! ((:

My name is Serene.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 9:23 PM

i love you more!
and it seems i love you even more each day!
hahaa!
you're my antidote to life!

saw mr and mrs bena today. aint they sweet. haha. mr bena looks so cute in skirt! x)) now i know why jw say it's the tree bark school. the uniform is brown. but it aint that bad la. mine's green. and baby's blue. and yea. so is mrs bena. i prefer banana. geesh. so we've make a deal. im mr b-toe. and baby's mrs b-toe. haha. what the. i cant believe it. im influenced by may's virus! get them off me! her immature sec3 virus. haha. okies. shall not suay you anymore. or mr bena's gonna turn me into baked potato.

hot de is going crazy larhs. she just pierced her nail. by herself. with a needle. gross lah. dunno what's in her mind now. she's crazy. but oh well. i love my hot de! x))

ahhh. im mad. i miss her!
i miss her! she's so sweet can! haha. you're not ugly! cause if you're im worst. hahaa!

My name is Serene.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 9:50 PM

you asked me if you were a drug to me.
i said no.
you're more than just a drug.
you're my antidote to live.

quarrelled with hot de. im sorry larhs. geesh. dont mean to be mean. but yea. it's a misunderstanding. i love my warm de! she's so sweet la! she called me and reallly cheeered me up! wee hoo!

im jealous la. i dun wan you to have a pts. humps. damnit! but owells. it's ya life. you live it. im happy. x) i love gorillaz! haha. damn stupid monkeys. but their cool larhs. haha. but i love you more. really la! and you're not ugly! geesh! i dun care! x)

blah blah. my butt ache. so pain!! need a massage.
dear wannna paint me nails black. hhahaha. super gothic. I LIKE. muhahahhaa!
I LOVE YOU!

My name is Serene.

Monday, May 02, 2005 - 10:34 AM

im bored! sitting infront here, munching away last night's sqaused malted chocolate balls that i brought from the hospital. it sucks, BIG TIME. aweful taste. but oh well, at least i dont have to share it with my everything-also-eat-de brother. he fear the taste of it. HHAHAHA. okies. it's not that bad. after you pop the whole chunk into your mouth, flinced, winced, rolled your eyes and groaned and swallow it. the remaining taste is just as horrible, but the pride of finishing feels good. HAHA. im crapping. geesh.

went to the hospital last evening till night. it was horrible. horrible to see you in such an aweful state. i was prepared to shout at you. to scream at you. im so damn angry with you. but nothing seems to come out when i saw you. you're all pale. you look so fragile. you look like as if you can just faint anytime. you sat on the bed munching away on your packet of rice, your mummy brought for you. this time, you didnt eat the big juicy meat. you put it at one side, and eat only the veggie and rice. and you seems.. so drifted away. it's like... you're not here anymore. you didnt seems like you bother about the world now. i sat on your bed. and there was silent. all i can heard was the quiet mumbles of the television hung above me and the talking of our mummys.

i brought you a teddy. i handle it over to you with a weak smile on the face. you saw it and stared at it. you reach out for it... and i can see how pale your hands are. you put in between your crossed legs. and stared down aimlessly at it. for a minute or two. i thought a tear dropped. i swept it away. you stared and stared. and then you will go back to your eating. you munched the food unwilllingly. i asked you "why are you so silly?". you kept silent. you said nothing. you use to give me that smile when i buy you stuff. but not this time.

for the whole of ytd. you're silent. the only things you said to me was "do you want some apple?", "do you want some honey dew?". and you gave me two hello kitty magnet. i took it in silent, forced a smile on my face.

i knee down beside your bed. and try not to cry. there's so many things i wanna tell you. about school, about my life. but seeing you like this, i cant help it. i couldnt open my mouth. and for half of the visit, i sat on the floor beside your bed. i wrote a letter there. and stupidly, i cried. not really a cry. it was more like a weep. a silent weep. i finished writing, folded the letter and kept it in my pocket.

im worried for you. what gone is gone. i understand. but please... you dont have to treat yourself this way. look at you. do you think your mummy will feel good? or rather do you think your daddy will feel good?! and now, you're seeing things that are not there. you talk nothing but things that doesnt exist. you're no longer here. what happened to you? that person is not gonna visit you. that person is gone. and you know it. you're there. banging on the window plane, screaming in tears, as it disappered into the flames. i was there. watching everything happen. face it girl. stop imaging things. gone.

i gave you the letter as i was leaving. it was a horrrible letter. and i hope you wouldnt be mad with me. i just want you to snap out of it. it HURTS to see you this way. i want you to face the truth. i dont want you to be the coward you had once told me about. i want you to be happy again. i dont want you to run away by sleeping. i want you to be drop dead awake. to see the world. i love you. GET WELL. you've my support.

My name is Serene.

Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 12:38 AM

once you told me to live on. you told me that you detest people who want to end their lifes. you told me that they are cowards who dare not face the world. you told me that when i told you how much i wish i was dead. when i told you how much i hated life and how much i wish i can just fall into a deep sleep, and forget all my worries. you are the one who told me to buck up. you snap me awake when i cutted my wist and it bleed like shit. you pump life into me. since that day onwards. since that day you told me that. i detest those who thinks that life is pathetic. i looked down on them. you changed me.
do you know how much you mean to me?!
i love you!
i dunno. but you're my bestie to heart.
my best friend.
and damn you. you horrible bitch.
how could you treat me this way!
what are you thinking!
what's with you!!!!!!
why!
why!!!!!
dont you dare leave me!
cause i will hate you for life.
and i mean it!!!
i feel so cheated.
i feel like crap.
i hate that god-damn feeling.
i hate it!!!
im so fucking diappointed in you.
do you know... how much i look up to you?
i talk about you to my friends.
i talk wonders of you.
wonders.
and now you gave me crap.
gave me a bunch of annoying feeelings to cope with.
and you? just lying there on the bloody hell bed.
what's with you.
it aint cool.
and no matter the reasons...
you know i will help you.
wake up.
WAKE UP NOW.
reply my messages...
call me...
and tell me..
tell me..
that you're okie....
ARGHS....

My name is Serene.